i could write a poem write now about suicidal thoughts or maybe even less dramatic like me wanting to move or some shit but then again thats most likely going to exacerbate the whole situation and also it’s cliche and dumb and maybe instead of feeling worthless and staying up all night I could feel worthless and sleep because maybe when i wake up i’ll have somehow forgotten how much i hate myself and smile. Because isn’t that the only reason people can stand to be around me. If i didn’t smile so much, or pay people compliments, or always go out of my fucking way to do something nice for someone who doesn’t appreciate the god damn lengths i went to for them to not even get a “thanks” or a smile or something in return to make my day a little bit fucking better too just because thats what nice people do for one another, i don’t think anyone would be my friend. and the whole thing isn’t fair, because if i had half of the attitude nearly all the people i know i would have no one. With all of my good intentions, i barely have anyone any way. maybe it’s paranoia but i swear to god I’m so unwanted. I only blog when i hate myself
i actually hate everyone but its okay because actually every hates me so THATS JUST GREAT bye
sweet solacing light tickles my cheek
sings to me
good morning
as gentle eyelids flutter like the first butterfly of the
season
exploring the freshly painted
cerulean sky
indulging themselves in the sticky dew of the grass at
dawn
my toes crinkle
my bones y a w n
my skin drinks in the newborn sunshine
it sings, it hums
everything is going to be just fine
kaleidoscope reflections bounce around my room
oh joyous spring, soak up my winter gloom
pour me a tall glass of your warmest breeze
your coolest spots under cherry-blossoming trees
a harmony of birds
and their most well-rehearsed song
oh how I have been parched
for much too long
glorious sun, make my heavy bones
light
infinite indigo sky, make my dull eyes
bright
spring time lullaby, send my winter woes a-flight
Could you imagine getting an apartment with the person you love. Falling asleep beside each other, and waking up to see that cute little dopey smile they make when they first get up. You’d never a bad start to your day, because they’d be the perfect start.
